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Does your sex life feel “meh?”

  • Are you and your partner having a hard time communicating...inside the bedroom?
  • Does it feel like the passion is gone or you’re just going through the motions when it comes to sex?
  • Are you at a place where sex seems like another thing on your to-do list?
  • Do you worry if your partner still finds you attractive, if they’re getting pleased, or worry if you’ll be able to “perform” good enough?
  • Is arguing about sex affecting your relationship?

 

Whether the bedroom has gotten boring, you’re struggling to enjoy sex, or are having difficulties with body parts that don’t want to, ahem, cooperate, it can be frustrating to deal with and really tough to talk about. Maybe you just can’t talk about it. Or you talk about it and nothing changes.

You're Not Alone

Many of these issues that individuals or couples face such as desire and libido issues, arousal issues, inability to orgasm, erectile dysfunction, rapid ejaculation, pain during sex, performance anxiety, lack of spontaneity, masturbation, sex addiction/porn addiction, alternative lifestyles (polyamory, non-monogamy, BDSM, kink, fetishes, etc), are actually extremely common. It is just not something that a lot of folks are able to talk about either effectively, openly, or safely. Most commonly, our clients tell us they have a “sexless marriage,” and upon digging a bit deeper, we reveal that one of the aforementioned is lurking. The New York Times reported that “sexless marriage” is searched in Google more often than “unhappy marriage” or “loveless marriage.”

Sex Therapy Can Help You Turn Up The Heat

That’s when working with a sex therapist can be helpful.  In fact, we think it is important to address sex whenever working with all our couples, because a marriage therapist that doesn’t talk about sex is like a plumber who doesn’t do toilets...it just doesn’t make sense.

With the listening ear, unique interventions, and ability to assess where couples and individuals are getting off track sexually, sex therapy can help you feel more rejuvenated and revitalized both in and out of the bedroom. Couples who learn to communicate about sex and address their wants and needs (or lack thereof) can simultaneously learn to communicate about other areas of their relationships, too. Many of our clients learn how to grow their intimacy, identify their sexual wants and needs, communicate their relational and sexual needs, and ultimately have a deeply fulfilling, and exciting sexual relationship that is no longer mundane or “meh.”

West Georgia's Only Sex Therapist

While all of our therapists are able to discuss sex and address those issues, Misty McIntyre is the only therapist in the Carrollton completing her certification as a sex therapist. Misty takes a sex-positive approach, meaning she doesn’t judge or label others’ sexual preferences or struggles and feels comfortable with the sexual practices of others. She operates from the school of thought that sex is a healthy part of life and relationships and it can be discussed without shame or awkwardness.

Misty will help you understand why you are experiencing the problem you are having and will provide information and education to help you have a perspective that is helpful and sets you up for success. In addition to this new perspective and understanding, Misty will guide you through identifying roadblocks that may be actually perpetuating your problem, and will help you find alternatives that will get you unstuck. Finally, you will be guided through a series of interventions and exercises that will lead you from where you’re at to where you want to be. Whether you are a new mom that feels “touched out” and doesn’t want your spouse touching you, you find it difficult to get in the mood or become aroused, or you don’t enjoy sex and are just doing it because you’re “supposed to,” Misty is happy to help.

Often times, Misty has found in working with her clients that they usually come in with a more benign complaint like “communication issues” or “constant bickering” only later to find out that there is something seriously awry in the bedroom but partners are scared to mention that the sex isn’t up to par. “What if my partner thinks they aren’t good in bed or I’m not attracted to them?” “What will my partner think if I tell him/her what I really want and like?” “What if I don’t know how to please my partner and I’m scared to say anything?” “What if I am too embarrassed to talk about it?” These are all common concerns, and no need to worry as Misty can carefully help you navigate these without fear, shame, or embarrassment.

You May Still Have Questions About Sex Therapy

“Why am I having a sexual problem in the first place?

There are lots of factors that play a role in sexual health. After all, our sexual health is just another part (important part) of our overall well being. Factors like physical health, emotional wellbeing, stress, major life changes, medications, and mental health can all play a part in our sexual functioning.

“Do we have to have a specific sexual problem to be able to do sex therapy?”

No, not necessarily. Since Misty is a couples/marriage therapist, she will be looking at all of the dynamics that are playing out in the relationship and helping the client(s) stay stuck. She treats sex therapy as a category that falls under the umbrella of couples counseling, and therefore it is just more specialized and focused.

“I love my partner and am actually pretty happy in the relationship. I don’t feel like we actually need counseling, but there are some sexual issues that have popped up. Can we do sex therapy?”

YES and YES! Often times, Misty finds that couples are having sexual problems but are otherwise happy in their relationships and don’t know where to turn. Primary care physicians, OB/GYN’s, specialists, pastors, and friends don’t always know how to treat these issues effectively and sometimes can give advice that can sometimes make matters worse. That’s when working with a sex therapist can be helpful.

“What if I am too embarrassed to talk about this in front of my partner? Or what if my partner doesn’t want to come?”

Great question. First of all, Misty understands that talking about sex can be really tough sometimes. We aren’t really ever taught how to do it and do it well. Just know that is a normal feeling, and there is a good chance your partner might be feeling the same way. However, if you’re feeling too uncomfortable or your partner doesn’t want to attend, then coming solo can still be extremely helpful and beneficial, and you can still experience an improvement in your overall sex life.

“What if I am too embarrassed to even talk to the therapist about this?”

Again, totally normal to have those feelings and concerns. Before you dive into the sexual specifics, you can always talk with Misty (or any other therapist) about your embarrassment first to learn where it is stemming from. Is it because the therapist feels like a stranger? Is it because you are revealing a secret? Is it because you don’t want to be viewed as weird, kinky, wrong, or broken? Just know that the therapist is never judging you and takes a sex-positive view. And even though it may feel awkward to you, therapists are used to hearing this kind of stuff daily. There is probably nothing you could say that would surprise your therapist! But, Misty also understands if this is still difficult and offers virtual sessions, phone sessions, and email coaching to help you get your questions answered in a way that feels private and discreet.

“What if I don’t feel like I need sex therapy or counseling, but I have questions about my sexual health or sexual satisfaction?”

Misty will still meet with you to help answer your questions, but offers other options like a phone session or email coaching. After completing an intake form, you will ask your question and Misty will respond and you simply pay per exchange.

“Does sex therapy cost more money than other types of counseling?”

No, Misty offers a flat rate for couples, individuals, virtual sessions, in-office sessions, and phone sessions. However, if you’re looking for a more affordable option, consider email coaching, which is about half the cost per exchange.

“What if I am out of state?”

While Misty only meets face to face with her clients in Carrollton, online sessions are offered to those in Newnan, Peachtree City, Atlanta, Athens, and Savannah. Misty will soon be licensed in Alabama in addition to Georgia and will be able to offer services to those in Oxford, Anniston, and Birmingham. Email coaching is available to anyone at any location.

"Why work with Misty?"

Misty has a unique speciality in that she is a couples/marriage therapist and works almost exclusively with couples or those individuals who are wanting change in their relationships (romantic or not). She is the only sex therapist in the West Georgia area. (There are fewer than 30 sex therapists in the state of Georgia, and fewer than 5 in the state of Alabama!)

 

Let's Get It On

Ready to get started? Schedule an appointment online today! Misty sees clients in-office on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, offers phone and online sessions on Thursdays and email coaching daily.

Still have questions? Email Misty directly at misty@therapycocounseling.com or schedule a free phone consultation today by calling 678-796-8255.