WHAT HAPPENS IN COUPLES THERAPY?

Considering couples therapy or new to the counseling process? It is normal to be scared and nervous if you’ve never done it before and don’t know what to expect, or if you’ve been to counseling before but are now working with a new therapist.It would likely be helpful if you had some insight to what really happens in couples therapy. While each therapist may be a bit different in their approach, this is just an idea of what it could look like based on how things go when I work with couples. Here is some of what you can expect if you are considering couples therapy.

1. You get comfortable and ready for session. When my clients first arrive, they walk into the lounge/waiting area. It looks like a living room, equipped with couches near the fireplace, soft lighting, and reading material. The waiting room usually isn’t crowded, and I like to keep it that way as best as possible. You will have a moment to use the restroom, have a snack or beverage while you wait. There is not always a secretary or receptionist on duty, so you will have a moment to settle in before your therapist welcomes you and begins session. Depending on your therapist, you may spend a few moments completing paperwork. Some therapists will have you complete paperwork electronically before arriving.

2. Your therapist will greet you and will lead you to the therapy room. You may be offered a cold beverage or hot tea/coffee once in the room. I like to leave almonds and chocolates in the room for my clients, as well as notepads and pens in case you want to take a few notes.

3. In the first session, the therapist will usually spend some time getting to know the both of you, asking questions to gain some insight to your relationship background, and will ask some questions about what is bringing you to therapy. The therapist will be listening and assessing, working to get a sense of what the problem is and how to help you get from where you are to where you want to be. Sometimes, it is difficult to get all of the necessary information about the problem in one session, but the therapist should have a sense of if he/she can help you or not. Toward the end of session, the therapist will offer recommendations based on what is being discussed in session and will talk with you about how to best move forward, working with the you to develop a plan that works best for the both of you. The therapist will usually share a bit about how he/she works best and may provide you with some education about what happened to your relationship, what to expect in therapy moving forward, or you may be given homework or an opportunity to ask questions. Then, if you are a good fit together, you will be rescheduled for your next appointment.

4. In subsequent sessions, your therapist will remain neutral, never judging or blaming you, no matter how shameful or embarrassing the topic may be. You may get some individual time with your therapist to discuss your concerns about your relationship in private. Your therapist also will give you tools, strategies, new insights and perspectives, but they will never tell you if you should end the relationship or not, or if you’re doomed to fail or not. Your therapist presents you with information, and helps you decide where you stand. Your therapist should be invested in you keeping your integrity intact at all times. There may be moments where your therapist challenges you to think outside the box or to begin to think, behave, or relate in new ways that may be difficult at first.

5. As you continue attending your sessions, you will notice some relief and some progress. Your therapist will then discuss with you coming to therapy less frequently, to give you the opportunity to master your new skills independently (think of it like learning to ride a bicycle without training wheels).

6. Once you’ve reached your goals and you feel therapy is over, you will discuss a plan with your therapist about how to move forward, how to recognize warning signs in the future, how to have a plan of action to prevent issues from snowballing into bigger ones, or how you can now take a good relationship and turn it into a great relationship.

Ready to get started with a trained couples therapist? Call today at 678-796-8255 or schedule online 24/7. I look forward to hearing your story!