Apologizing is no easy feat. I work with many couples, families, and individuals who are hurting, and want their loved ones to recognize their hurt, and expect an apology in some capacity. But, why is apologizing so hard to do? And if we don’t mean it, should we still apologize? We have conceptualized apologizing as a vehicle for admitting we are wrong, smoothing things over, or giving in, any of which signify that we may be weak. Contrary to popular belief, it takes great strength and courage to dare to apologize, and here is guide for when to do it, and how to do it well.
As a couples and marriage therapist, there is one area of the field that I wish was more popular: premarital counseling. I cringe a little bit inside every time I hear a couple say they don’t need pre-marital counseling because: “we never argue,” or “we get along so well,” or “we agree on almost everything,” or “we are just so happy already.” While that may be true, premarital counseling can be very effective in setting the tone for how resilient your marriage is when those tough waves come rolling in. Premarital counseling can help you prepare for your marriage, and not just the wedding. The wedding lasts for one day, but the marriage is intended to last forever.
If you are recently engaged, approaching engagement, or considering marriage to your partner, you may have heard of pre-marital counseling. These days, it is not uncommon for pastors or certain churches to require it of couples before they walk down the aisle together. If you are wondering how it works, or what to expect from the process, here is a glimpse into how I work with premarital couples.